Cruising for the best ‘knotty’ nautical names

By Melanie Yingst

It seems as though my vacations have had a running theme.

They’ve both involved boats and I’m not exactly a lover of the sea.

My family has never been the nautical types. In fact, as children, we would beg our parents to book a hotel with an inground pool. For us, that was as close to a beach vacation we’d ever get as we combed the Corn Belt for Lincoln’s home or Mark Twain’s hometown of Hannibal, Missouri. And you pronounce Missouri like “Mizz-zur-rah” just for fun.

On a side note, I would like to try a cruise sometime. Yet, the mere thought of being surrounded by water for days with no land in sight has probably prohibited me from booking one in my adult years. I think I’d be OK on a big ship and just when I get the courage, some major cruise line either loses a passenger, has a health hazard sicken thousands or drives right into the middle of a hurricane. So I’ll keep researching.

I’m also not a seafood person really either. I honestly like imitation crab better than the real thing. I know, I’m so disturbed.

I like my protein with four legs or wings. I guess it’s safe to say my heart will always be rooted in the Midwest.

Yet, the over the last several years I’ve enjoyed spending time up at Indian Lake, but all in all, it’s the most shallow body of water in the state of Ohio so in reality, it doesn’t really count as a large body of water.

When Evan and I visited my oldest sister last month, she called us on her way home from work to have us meet her at the marina near her home.

The East Coast is sailing country. It was a sight to see all the majestic sailboats at the marina lined up in neat little rows. Eating dinner on a dock on the bay (wastin’ time), was one of the most enjoyable dinners of our trip. The Maryland crab dip was amazing as well.

The Marina which houses my sister’s sailboat called “Tally Ho!” and I quickly scanned the other sailboats for their quirky, nautical names.

Here are a few of my favorites: Split Decision, Waterproof, Why Knot, Windbag (one of my favorites), Hold My Calls, Tax Sea-vation (maybe a politician’s boat?), Ctrl + Alt + Delete, Sand Witch, Knot Guilty, Cirrhosis of the River, and my favorites She’ll Get Over It and In A Meeting.

Last weekend I tagged along with Swank down to Cumberland Lake in Kentucky, home of houseboats and hillbillies.We camped all weekend, which is one of the busiest weekends of the boating season. The houseboats are so large, they can’t fit underneath the bridges as they are transported from lake to lake or from the manufacturer to their home waters. Many of these brand new houseboats sat at the top of the hill of our campground. Before the houseboat is hauled into the lake, a crane would place the tops of the boats before they would launch.

My favorite houseboat was all chromed out with black trim and its name was perfect “Big Hat No Cattle.”

The lake water was warm and I passed the time by looking at all the fancy power boats and their names throughout the weekend.

Here are a few of my favorite from Lake Cumberland: Shootin’ the Breeze, Breaking Bass, Nacho Boat, 2 Much Fun, Miss Behavin, Fish and Chicks, She Got the House, Goin’ Broke and Bacon in the Sun.

What would your boat name be? I think I’ll go with Sea-N-Double.

By Melanie Yingst

“Twin” Melanie Yingst appears weekly in the Troy Daily News. She’s a land shark.

“Twin” Melanie Yingst appears weekly in the Troy Daily News. She’s a land shark.


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